Today’s Office, the First
Reading from Deuteronomy 32:48ff. includes the account of the death of Moses:
“The
Lord spoke to Moses that same day and said to him, ‘Climb Mount Nebo, that
mountain of the Abarim range, in the land of Moab, opposite Jericho, and view
the land of Canaan which I am giving the sons of Israel as their domain. Die on
the mountain you have climbed, and be gathered to your people, as your brother
Aaron died on Mount Hor and was gathered to his people. Because you broke faith
with me among the sons of Israel that time at Meribath-kadesh in the wilderness
of Zin, because you did not display my holiness among the sons of Israel, you
may see this land only from afar; you cannot enter it, this land that I am
giving to the sons of Israel.’”
As we read, Moses cannot enter
the Promised Land because of the incident in the desert of Zin, where he, the
prophet, and Aaron, the priest, failed to display God’s holiness to the sons of
Israel. From the entire text you get the impression that, great as he was in
the eyes of God, Moses did not “make the cut” and ended up in Limbo, because he
had not mortified himself sufficiently in accordance with God’s will.
It is only an impression on my
part and one more than anything provoked in me as I look at myself, a sharer in
the ministry of priest, prophet and king, which Jesus, the Holy One of God,
entrusted to His Church.
Time for an examination of conscience! Not because
Limbo is an option for this priest, but because beyond Hell confinement in
Purgatory for however long is an undesirable consolation prize, unworthy of all
I owe to the One Who first loved me, the Christ, and to His Church.
Thomas à Kempis in The
Imitation of Christ, in the part reserved for the worthy reception of
Holy Communion, devotes Chapter VII especially to the priest, his examination
of conscience, and purpose of amendment (Kindle Locations 2854-2881). Here are
the points he offers, which to my way of thinking have lost none of their
relevance toward shaping a priestly heart and obedience, capable of manifesting
to those entrusted to his care, the holiness of God:
“Above
all things the priest of God must draw nigh, with all humility of heart and
supplicating reverence, with full faith and pious desire for the honour of God,
to celebrate, minister, and receive this Sacrament. Diligently examine thy
conscience and with all thy might with true contrition and humble confession
cleanse and purify it, so that thou mayest feel no burden, nor know anything
which bringeth thee remorse and impedeth thy free approach. Have displeasure
against all thy sins in general, and specially sorrow and mourn because of thy
daily transgressions. And if thou have time, confess unto God in the secret of
thine heart, all miseries of thine own passion.”
Here are his points for which
he invites the priest to… Lament
grievously and be sorry, because thou art still:
- so carnal and worldly, so unmortified from thy passions,
-
so full of the motion of concupiscence,
-
so unguarded in thine outward senses, so often entangled in many vain fancies,
so much inclined to outward things,
-
so negligent of internal;
-
so ready to laughter and dissoluteness, so unready to weeping and contrition;
-
so prone to ease and indulgence of the flesh, so dull to zeal and fervour;
-
so curious to hear novelties and behold beauties, so loth to embrace things
humble and despised; so desirous to have many things, so grudging in giving, so
close in keeping;
-
so inconsiderate in speaking, so reluctant to keep silence;
-
so disorderly in manners, so inconsiderate in actions;
-
so eager after food, so deaf towards the Word of God; so eager after rest, so
slow to labour;
-
so watchful after tales, so sleepy towards holy watchings; so eager for the end
of them, so wandering in attention to them;
-
so negligent in observing the hours of prayer, so lukewarm in celebrating, so
unfruitful in communicating;
-
so quickly distracted, so seldom quite collected with thyself;
-
so quickly moved to anger, so ready for displeasure at others;
-
so prone to judging, so severe at reproving;
-
so joyful in prosperity, so weak in adversity;
-
so often making many good resolutions and bringing them to so little effect.
The language of my edition
might be antiquated, but the message has lost none of its application, in our day and time, to
priests and bishops, young and old. The chapter ends on a
frank, but truly encouraging note:
“If
a man shall have done what in him lieth, and shall repent him truly, then how
often soever he shall draw nigh unto Me for pardon and grace, As I live, saith the
Lord, soever he shall draw nigh unto Me for pardon and grace, As I live, saith
the Lord, I have no pleasure in the death of a sinner, but rather that he
should be converted, and live. All his transgressions that he hath committed,
they shall not be mentioned unto him.” (cf. Ezekiel xviii. 22, 23)
Deuteronomy says that Moses died
and was buried in a ravine on Mount Nebo at 120 years of age, still vigorous
and having his eye sight. He must have been clearly aware of the price he had
to pay for his unmortified behavior (his impatience with the people?).
My prayer would be that The
Imitation or some other aid or person would rescue us, priests and bishops,
from whatever the distraction which keeps us unmortified and thus hindered in
showing forth to God’s people His great holiness, His loving will for us to
enter into His rest.